Happy Facade Artist T-Shirts

'As I feared, the X-ray shows that you are crying inside.'

"You notice all the books behind me...one of these days I'll get around to read one."

'Tony can't come out to play now, he's on his orthodontopole!'

Tom Bagley's Outer Shell.

'That's my husband, Brad. He's a dentist.'

"But everything seems so neat and orderly we'd never guess that your lives are falling apart."

"Don't be fooled. Chaos reigns."

"Suppose I was successful, suppose I actually dug under the fence, then what?"

"You're home from work now Dear, you can go back on your default setting."

Miserable man holding a balloon with smiling face.

Dentist: Pumpkin before and after.

Tuba Music

Bored road worker painting a smilie face

'I love working with my hands.'

"I used to have buck teeth. Now I have 5,000-buck teeth."

"Wanna hear a real funny joke?"

"When I said I was 'all-in', I meant I was going to bed... and I'm not saying that just because I lost the hand."

FacadeBook

"You may not want to read this book but you'll certainly want others to think you've read it."

Not wanting to seem sour or charmless, Steve smiled his way through life.

"A bright smile every morning- how do you do it?"

"I have a small confession to make - some of them I've only skimmed through."

"Bill and I are readers."

"We don't actually have to BE happy, Cody -- we just have to LOOK happy."

Bob practices lying.

'As long as no one knows that I don't know what I'm doing, there's no problem...'

Dentist.

"I'm so glad that you could pop round to see the new carpet."

"Reggie 'The Butcher' Baker just found out that everyone knows his wife calls him 'love dumpling'."

Not A Bookstore: Non-books that look like books for folks who don't read books, but want people to think they read books.

"Damn, I'm cool when I'm not wearing a mask..."