Happiness Optimizer Prints

It's a new government directive requiring us to be 56% more cheerful within 18 months

Happy Days Are Here Again

'I tried being pessimistic. I was terrible at it.'

Cell Bar & Grill. Happy Hour All Day. The new owner is an endorphin.

Well, she certainly is one of our more positive employees!

"I've tried to keep one in the past, but it always flew away when my husband came home. So I thought I'd try this method!"

"Remember, you're only as sick as you feel."

"It's always a good time to have a good time!"

Bank. Moving Co. Joe got an apartment above the bank. He moved his things in today. Now he can say his "assets are over ten million dollars"!

Time Management Conultancy - Out, Out

'You have the body of a 22 year old man, providing your birthday is February 29th.'

'Scientists have confirmed that smiling is contagious.'

Happiness

Brain and heart sweep away the negative

'People aren't happy enough...I want a 15% increase in happiness by the 1st of the month or heads will roll!'

"I watched that Marie Kondo program on decluttering and decided to get rid of Norman."

"On a scale of one to ten. How happy would you say you are?"

"Actually, turns out my entire life can take place at 10%."

'The company hired a therapist to improve our morale.'

Lake City Optimist Club - Peachy/Keen.

Resume Advisor. I'm not sure "internet troll" is a resume enhancer.

'I've given up on looking for the bluebird of happiness. . . I'd settle for the chicken of contentment!'

'Get me into that 15% tax bracket I've heard so much about.'

'Honestly you could drive a 'coach and horses' through this document, there's no definition of 'weight loss', no time frame, no sanctions.'

"Wouldn't you be more comfortable if you lived at home?"

Chasing Dreams.

"The nurse says I'm morbidly obese...so what are you going to do about it?"

The Pecks state of well being

'Well, we've been talking about downsizing, and it looks like the bank is going to make sure we do.'

'Your glaucoma will never improve this way, Buzzy.'

'Diet patch, stop-smoking patch, birth control patch...'

"I won't be in today - I'm too happy!"

Jumping

"Maybe I should cut down on the Prozac for awhile!"

"John Stuart Mill taught that the happiness of the individual is paramount. He didn't name names, but I suspect that you and I are the sort of individual he had in mind."