Handsfree Hero Pillows

Bluetooth was the future.

Express Barber Chair for Chemo Patients

'I'm not in shock, my eyebrows are just receding with my hairline.'

"Oh, oh, it seems they've had a little trouble with the hand-off in lane number three."

'I got the job, Mom. You always said I'd make a living with my hands.'

'The fed lowered interest rates today for everybody with hair...'

'Let me know if the fan bothers you...'

'We've been tailgating so long, I think we might be homeless.'

"Now right-click on the icon."

'This model sends back a pre-recorded message to any hacker.'

"Here's a video showing how to fix a toilet. It shows a guy calling a plumber."

'It's your own fault - you act like an absolute fool whenever he lets you off it.'

'Dinnertime!', 'Not now, Mom -- the fate of the Galaxy is in my hands!'

Born to play ball.

Blue-Collar Workers

'They call it a remote because that's the chnaces of me being able to program it.'

"Looks like another case of someone over forty trying to understand Snapchat."

"I never appreciated having a cat until I lost my hair."

Do your own conveyancing...Do it yourself plumbing and heating...Embalm your own relatives.

The anti-social network: 'In other words, you want to help the internet blow itself up.'

'I was bald by 30, invested the money saved on haircuts in the market, and retired at 50.'

"They're not playing video games. They're helping to overthrow evil dictatorships."

'O.K., I admit I'm impressed by your handbrake skills but does reverse gear work?'

Job Safety - Valves.

'We cured your cigarette addiction, but you now need treatment for nicotine patch addiction.'

'Are you sure you haven't got your head on upside-down, sir?'

'OK Smith, you can take this back to the Woodwork room now!'

'And then Steve Jobs invented apple computers.'

Computer use issues

"How am I supposed to think about consequences before they happen?"

"Remember, measure twice, cut once, stand baffled, string together obscenities."

"Daddy why are your hands so soft?" "That's because I'm effeminate son."

'There's one thing about baldness... it's neat!'