Handsfree Hero Pillows

Bluetooth was the future.

Express Barber Chair for Chemo Patients

'I'm not in shock, my eyebrows are just receding with my hairline.'

"Oh, oh, it seems they've had a little trouble with the hand-off in lane number three."

I used to love coming here. Nudist beach.

I went a little crazy with the pet hair sticky roller.

'The fed lowered interest rates today for everybody with hair...'

'I got the job, Mom. You always said I'd make a living with my hands.'

'Let me know if the fan bothers you...'

"Now right-click on the icon."

'We've been tailgating so long, I think we might be homeless.'

'This model sends back a pre-recorded message to any hacker.'

"Here's a video showing how to fix a toilet. It shows a guy calling a plumber."

'Dinnertime!', 'Not now, Mom -- the fate of the Galaxy is in my hands!'

'It's your own fault - you act like an absolute fool whenever he lets you off it.'

Blue-Collar Workers

Born to play ball.

'They call it a remote because that's the chnaces of me being able to program it.'

"I never appreciated having a cat until I lost my hair."

"Looks like another case of someone over forty trying to understand Snapchat."

Do your own conveyancing...Do it yourself plumbing and heating...Embalm your own relatives.

'I was bald by 30, invested the money saved on haircuts in the market, and retired at 50.'

"They're not playing video games. They're helping to overthrow evil dictatorships."

It's Rudy's annual treecation – A low-cost vacation spent sitting under his tree. This year, a twist: His gadgets have lost battery life and his portable generator is out … Don't panic. Maybe this is a battery tree. Just leaves. Or maybe there's an outlet. Bark. What kind of tree is this?! Proudly powered by sun and roots.

'O.K., I admit I'm impressed by your handbrake skills but does reverse gear work?'

The anti-social network: 'In other words, you want to help the internet blow itself up.'

Job Safety - Valves.

'We cured your cigarette addiction, but you now need treatment for nicotine patch addiction.'

Computer use issues

'Are you sure you haven't got your head on upside-down, sir?'

'And then Steve Jobs invented apple computers.'

'OK Smith, you can take this back to the Woodwork room now!'

"How am I supposed to think about consequences before they happen?"

"Remember, measure twice, cut once, stand baffled, string together obscenities."

"Daddy why are your hands so soft?" "That's because I'm effeminate son."