Hammer Collector T-Shirts

"Call that a hammer?"

"Want to impress me with that hammer? Try using it to fix a few things around here."

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Bribes for Jabs

Ale. Mead. It's been a hard knight's day!

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'You know, there's no need to reinvent the rock.'

'Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know the drill.'

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

'Frank, when was the last time you cleaned your gun?'

The Sculptor

"But seriously do you think my eclectic knowledge of the history of the development of the claw hammer makes me more of a sex magnet?"

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

'Would it have killed you to go with a store-bought model?'

The Appearance of the Gatling Machine-Gun in 1864 caught the world by surprise.

Weapons of War Through the Ages.

Lumberjack Christmases.

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

'I can not tell a lie concerning the cherry tree: mistakes were made. However, I must consult with my spin doctors before saying more.'

Knight walking his pet armadillo.

'It's my latest invention -- I cal lit 'a rock tied to a stick.''

'That's Renfrew -- he's in charge of high-risk portfolios.'

'After A Knights Hard Day'

"The only think we'll be able to shoot at soon will be that right to roam lot..."

'We thought you'd like music during your building inspection.'

The Black Hole the National Observatory just discovered, where temporarily misplaced tools and parts go.

"I guess I always wanted to be an electrician. As a little boy, I ran away to join the circuits."

DIY Store "I don't know why we come here..."

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 2

"What's it like, working with your hands?"

"If, in the future, you're unclear about what I need you to gather when I say nuts ..."

"Get me my gun. I want to squeeze off a few last rounds."

"For only five dollars more, the guy let me have the 'Smart Hammer.'"

'They say he wears half-inch armor.'