Hammer Collector T-Shirts

"Call that a hammer?"

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

'Frank, when was the last time you cleaned your gun?'

'You know, there's no need to reinvent the rock.'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know the drill.'

The Sculptor

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

"But seriously do you think my eclectic knowledge of the history of the development of the claw hammer makes me more of a sex magnet?"

'Would it have killed you to go with a store-bought model?'

Weapons of War Through the Ages.

The Appearance of the Gatling Machine-Gun in 1864 caught the world by surprise.

'It's my latest invention -- I cal lit 'a rock tied to a stick.''

"The only think we'll be able to shoot at soon will be that right to roam lot..."

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

Lumberjack Christmases.

Knight walking his pet armadillo.

'I can not tell a lie concerning the cherry tree: mistakes were made. However, I must consult with my spin doctors before saying more.'

'That's Renfrew -- he's in charge of high-risk portfolios.'

'We thought you'd like music during your building inspection.'

The Black Hole the National Observatory just discovered, where temporarily misplaced tools and parts go.

"I guess I always wanted to be an electrician. As a little boy, I ran away to join the circuits."

Bullets Bulls in the form of Bullets

"What's it like, working with your hands?"

'They say he wears half-inch armor.'

"For only five dollars more, the guy let me have the 'Smart Hammer.'"

DIY Store "I don't know why we come here..."

'I wonder how my husband is managing at the construction site with my gavel.'

"Get me my gun. I want to squeeze off a few last rounds."

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 2