Half Empty Skeptic Pillows

"Why do you always get to be 'half-full' and I have to be 'half empty'!?"

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

"I'm a glass-half-empty and I'm leaking."

"I know it looks fine, but let's get an engineer's report and a termite inspection just to be on the safe side."

'We studied the multiplication table in school today -- frankly, I don't believe a word of it.'

'Bernie always sees the glass as half-full, but not for long.'

Library. Story Hour. This fact-checking site says no cow has ever jumped over the moon.

Bitter End

"Half Empty. Half Empty. Half Empty-"

'Half-empty...half-full, but probably polluted.'

"As far as I can tell, meditation is just worrying minus the content."

"I don't really believe in the tooth fairy anymore, but if it pays, I play!"

'I think the main reason you see the glass as half full and we see the glass as half empty is because you've been drinking.'

"What do you want to be when you give up?"

"We also stock non-alcoholic wine" "Why?"

They all have to get down the slide in 2.7 seconds or we lose our funding. In schools soon: The recess aptitude test.

"Blood pressure is fine. Now let me just check your pessimism for the 'Times.' "

A person is reading another person's thoughts.

'Lincoln Standardized Test Center - formerly Lincoln High School'

"I wonder if we'll still have to eat kale this summer."

"My religion makes sense if you want it to."

'I had a really bad day at work! . . . I was expecting it to be utterly horrific. . . but in the end it was just really bad. . . My cracked glass is half full!'

"When Daddy goes by, make sure he can see how bored we are."

"First, I'll need to see an audited statement of revenue and expenses."

'I was skeptical at first, but it really works.'

The Ultimate Pessimist: "The glass is half empty and what's in it is toxic."

"If you're so sober, why ain't you rich?"

Glass who didn't want to get involved in the argument.

"I never saved for a rainy day...I grew up shopping in an enclosed mall!"

'It seems that he was too optimistic. His glass of water wasn't half full. Obviously, it was completely empty.'

"Waiter! My glass is half empty."

"I'm an optimist and that depresses me."

"Well, I don't care how you see it. At $40 a glass, it's half empty."

Two hour parking if you see the glass as half full, all others will be ticketed.

Preacher performs a miracle.