Hair Whisperer T-Shirts

"I'm sorry, Mr. Wilson, but your hair just doesn't say anything to me today."

Moses parts the red hair

I can't do anything with my hair. It doesn't like to go to movies or concerts, or play games. It's just really dull.

'My hair is so bad I have to cut it myself. I tried going to a hair salon once - they just yelled at it.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Police Feline Unit

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

Cat woman shopping for cats.

"Quick, start the car!"

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

Braiding a Horse's Tail

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

"It get it – you're hungry."

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

Biofelineism

If a bunch of crazy red headed clowns come out that door...Run like you've never ran before!

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

Dog Dreams

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

"Oh well, I guess I'm lucky that he's not a duck hunter."

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

Children's Feast.

"Hon, come quick! Mr. Puff has lowered his impenetrable wall of feline indifference, and it probably won't last long!"

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

'You know too much!'

'I don't care if it's hot, I won't go in the water!'

Cats want answer to the big questions in life.

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

'Don't bite it.I have to check Daddy next.'

'Every night it's the same - always my turn to put the Bally Cat out!'

"That is an outrageous slur."