Habit Swapper T-Shirts

"I'm ready to switch"

Maybe clean out your wallet

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

The American Tearoom, Moscow

List of things to do today. Make list of things to do tomorrow.

'Since he stopped smoking, he doesn't know what to do with his mouth.'

"Yes, Mr. Hargraves, thumb-sucking can be cured. But first let's talk about what your other hand is doing."

'I'm worried. I gave up smoking without any trouble.'

'I'm coping.'

"To be honest, it was a matter of finding something to do after I gave up alcohol."

Comfort Zone Lady Leaving a Room.

"Don't worry. She usually breaks her fitness resolution within the month."

'I can't help politicizing everything!'

90% of annoying habits are discovered after you start living together.

"I finally broke Joe of his excessive nose picking."

Psychiatry. Oops, it 3:17, time for me to switch chairs!

The trouble with trying to quit smoking.

'You've got to stop living in the past.'

'Diet patch, stop-smoking patch, birth control patch...'

"That's your best shot at a New Year's resolution? Stop flushing dental floss down the toilet?"

"I'm on a social media diet. I'm giving up tweets."

'I'm doing a 'pet swap'.'

'Do the patches help?'

"Say - this electronic bourbon isn't bad."

"Pushing buttons with anything other than your index finger is an affectation."

Ernie made a couple of new year's resolutions --- to cut down on his little fibs and to focus on building his career. Your new resume says you were a "Theater Director"? Sure, you remember I was an usher. "Experienced white collar worker"? My job at the dry cleaner. Ernie, you were never a "circuit judge"! I inspected electrical work. Well, at least he's keeping one of his resolutions, so he's doing better than most of us!

Participation awards: You didn't eat all the fries; You're trying to scroll less; You remembered to bring the reusable bag to the store; You flossed!; Someone else was later than you.

'That's not what I meant when I said you should change your habits!'

'Ron's managed to stop smoking but he's put on an awful lot of weight.'

'Look - read more slowly - and don't sniff - and keep your feet still!'

'Doctor, could you help me to stop biting my nails?'

'Did you know that your lips move when you text?'

"I can't remember whether I left the toilet seat up last night."

"I can't decide what to give up for Lent."