Guy Fawkes Fan T-Shirts

'Guy, is that you?'

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

"I've edited your Wikipedia entry again, Sadie. You're about to be inundated with phone calls from the press." "Whatever, geek-boy." "You're now the world's foremost authority on Turkey leprosy, the disease that's threatening to ruin the holidays." "No one'll believe that." "Oh yeah? I wrote a Wikipedia page for Turkey leprosy, too, along with examples of all the historical figures it's killed, such as the Archduke of Crushistan." "There is no 'Crushistan.'" "I've written a Wikipedia entry for C

Astronaut finds used firework on the moon.

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

BREAKING FAKE NEWS

'Talking of of big tops have you seen the new barmaid at the Green Dragon?'

"Don't worry Mum, if there's a storm and lightning, I'll stay safely next to Bob: My teacher said that lightning always hits the highest point..."

"Cool bonfire app, man."

"It's all show-as soon as Marks gone he switches off the football and reads Proust..."

Let's make a bonfire of our troubles.

"Remember - you have sharp teeth and claws, but he has sarcasm."

Bath Bonfire

Fake News, 50 cents.

Conducting Handel's Fireworks Music with a Sparkler

"O.K., your mouth may be clean but I'll bet your mind is filthy."

'Nobody goes there any more.' - 'It's too crowded.'

Bonfire

"Is there a humorist in the house?"

'Top floor, please.'

"...It's to celebrate winning the world cup in 1966"

A surprised man drives a car with his fireworks exploding.

'Inventions gone bad! Nuclear sparklers.'

"Ha!...I'd like to see the Jones' trying to beat our display this year!"

'Excuse me, could I borrow a light?'

"Why is it that the laws of inevitability always seem higher on ladies day?"

'Guy Fawkes and trick or treat - two for the price of one for one night only - please give generously.'

'I wonder where my best suit is?'

"Poor baby! You can come out now... all that nasty banging has stopped!"

'I told you not to let the children play with your Tony Blair effigy.'

"I'm glad that you've decided not to take yourself so seriously, but. . ."

'A penny? What the devil's THAT?'

'Uh, oh! Even the goats are roped together!'

Gregor Samsa III, who doesn't go out much, calls in a large order to the shopping channel.

"With the pretzels I recommend a hearty burgundy, with the goldfish a blanc de blancs."