Gut Instincts Guru T-Shirts

'I've done well listening to my gut, and now it's saying buy pork belly futures.'

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

Self help acupuncture

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

"Here...let me call an expert...someone who knows about these things."

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

National Academy of Sport

Keep Fit.

Tired executive going into gym coming out gleaming

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

'I gotta lose some weight.'

"Please don't kill me."

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

Congratulations on the new you!

DNA Analysis.

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."

'I would love to be more energetic, but there is nothing I can do: It's a genetic condition...'

'Apply that ointment as directed and call me if the growth does not reduce or it starts to talk.'

How to cope in Los Angeles vs. New York

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

"Your bedside health care book ... thanks for not reading it."

'Follow this diet, and soon the temple of your soul will just be a small chapel.'

'I know it's hard to believe. But biological speaking, they're our closest relatives.'

Humpty Dumpty in Occupational Therapy

'Look honey! I can touch my knees!'

'Have you been working out?'

"Ever since the elevator broke down, we've learned that our staff is in desperate need of a fitness program. Especially, since we're only one floor up."

'Are you the guy who put gluten in the bread?'