Guru Gatherer Pillows

'Shirley MacLaine claims to remember past lives.' 'I thought she looked familiar!'

Tartine

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

Carmel Buildings, Portman Square: A temperance meeting.

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

At the 2021 Religious Games

Best Before 5th Pint.

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

Life on Earth - The original chat room.

I've been looking forward to this the whole year: It can get lonely out there...

"Whine and cheezed party."

Guru.

"welcome man cave."

'Hunting and gathering doesn't sound very interesting, so I have decided to become a consultant.'

Quiz Night...

Rose Toast

'I don't give advice. I'm only up here because it's safer.'

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

Midwest Winter Items.

"If I had known how adult her place was I would have brought nicer beer."

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

'Wish you wouldn't cut your nails at bedtime!'

"I was a weirdo in this town before anyone even heard of Comic Con."

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

'I warned him about thinking the unthinkable!'

"You've traveled all this way just to score some pot? Okay—How much do you want?"

"To mediate properly, you need a mantra. How about 'Ka-Ching'?"

OM, SWEET OM

'Now, until you've attained perfect wisdom, you'll have to learn to evade questions.'

'The trouble is, once you've attained enlightenment, it's all downhill.'