Guidance Counselor T-Shirts

'Of course creative writing is important. You want to write home for money when you go away to college,don't you?'

'I'm looking for a career in something that will make me first in line for a government bailout if I mess up.'

"It's a great school, but it wasn't my first choice."

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

Guidance Counsellor: 'Today I was visited by nine students and two teachers.'

A backup plan might be a good idea, in case 'being a celebrity' doesn't work out...

'...do I want to risk putting up with someone like me?'

Guidance Counselor - Hunting/Gathering.

'My S.A.T. scores were too low? That's it?'

'I imagine you're interested in one of the more highly visible occupations?'

'In general, do the right thing.'

School Signs of the Times.

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

"I feel like a hypocrite writing a report on the Green Revolution. My trust fund portfolio has oil, mining, and tobacco stocks."

'I thought I'd put in the details later.'

'No, an aptitude test is not a test on your cell phone apps knowledge.'

We realise you do better on your I.Q. tests than you do in anything else, but you just cannot major in I.Q.

Yes, I agree that man is a master of his own destiny but sometimes it helps if you pass algebra.

Relationship problems.

'Granted, it's not a traditional sport, but I was hoping a party school might offer athletic scholarships for beer pong.'

'Your anatomy teacher says you're a pain in the gluteus.'

'...and to prepare you for life after graduation, 'Walking Without A Backpack 101'.'

"I'll be honest with you, this isn't going to be easy"

Guidance Counselor's boxes, 'push'--'shove'.

'The future is yours, Eddie, which judging from this history grade, is more than I can say for the past.'

'I want to train to be the Grim Reaper.'

'I plan to major in political science with a minor in strange bedfellows,'

'Be innovative and prepared. Have clearly defined educational objectives for each lesson. Write legibly on the board. Be firm and fair. Now go. You have a class to teach.'

Guidance Office

"Next week si my parent & teacher, principal, guidance counselor, crossing guard, bus driver and lunch lady conference. Is that bad?"

'Unfortunately, my conclusion is that your incompatibility is due to your being incompatible.'

I think you're capable of doing better work, too!

"My main goal in life is taking laziness to an insane new height."

"It's really hard to make any plans. By the time we grow up there will be all new jobs that nobody's ever heard of!"

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'