Guest Experience Analyst Pillows

"Here’s the thermostat. Like all hotel thermostats, it’s just for show."

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

City Bar and Grill - "Stop worrying, youth and enthusiasm can't compete with experience and treachery."

'The customers' suggestions make a lot of sense. I say, let's hire the customers and fire the staff!'

"Don't distress yourself, when I said he was on our critical list, I just meant that he's been critical about the food, the staff, and everything else!"

'No luggage.'

"This conversation may be recorded for training purposes, depending on how well we confuse you."

"Before you speak to the manager, we want to congratulate you on being our one millionth irate customer."

'No, we don't take complaints, we SELL complaints.. If the sign said POPCORN, you wouldn't try to GIVE me popcorn, would you?'

'You've been friendly to a customer? You anwered his question competently and solved his problem?? Don't you dare to do that again, mister!!'

'Sir, our new automated telephone system saves us $20,000 annually, but our phone business has dropped 66%!'

'I don't think they are playing with a full deck.'

'Hello, Room Service?'

Sharings,,,formerly complaints,

Man is attacked by barcodes.

"Now, I wonder whether you'd be kind enough to complete our customer feedback survey?"

'This room is a tad small but cozy.'

'So, just how long were you at the School of Hard Knocks?'

Suggestions Box

"I can't take the job in customer relations. I hate the customers. How can I possibly deal with their relatives?"

"Have some more tea, Mrs. Van Sickleford. Wendell is going to show you his mastodon tusk."

"When do your in-laws leave?"

'I'm what you can't learn at Harvard Business school.'

"I want to complain about how long I've had to queue to make my complaint."

'Remember, you're NEVER a stranger in this store because we've got LOADS of shopping data on you!'

'What do you mean you 'don't like curry'?!!'

'How could you have thirty years of experience when you're only twenty?'

"The customer is always right....the customer is ALWAYS right..."

Friendly bank/Formal bank.

"You don't have to spend a lot of money to have a good time?"

"Since we're about experiences and not things, I didn't bother with a ring."

'Oognik! -- If I'd known you were coming, I'd have harpooned a whale!'

'You can contact us 3 ways: an email that will be trashed, a fax that will be buried, and a letter which will be lost.'

'I see from your CV that you have a first class degree from the School of Hard Knocks'