Guardians Of The Discarded Mugs

'There are five of ua, a high wall with razor wire: It must be something really valuable or secret we're guarding...'

"He likes it."

'Dang it, I just washed this street. Boy, every time...'

Deaths from Coronavirus

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

Lovers' leap with chaperone observation point.

The Bearskin Hat Family

'You must be Jimmy's father . . .'

Bingo! Credit card number!! The real reason raccoons like garbage.

"Why do small children ask so many questions?" "Why not? We need to learn, don’t we? Anyway it’s no big deal is it? Isn’t that what parents are for? You were probably the same, weren’t you? So why complain?"

"Boy, the kids are growing up so fast!"

"Let's face it Mum, the main reason we're an endangered species is that we're fussy eaters..."

"We like to think he's experimenting with color and form, but his art therapist suggested we're not giving him enough candy."

'They're out there, they swallow your stuff, and who're you gonna call?'

"We've given it a great deal of thought and we decided we're going to give in to everything you want at all times."

Document Filing in the Post-Literate Era.

'Ok...something, but nothing you'd care about. Honest!'

'Dude! Did you even check if that cloak had a flame retardant, before you bought it?'

'I've stopped getting bright ideas.'

'Polly wants a machine gun.'

'Will you tell the dog I live here!'

"If the stock market goes to infinity, would we be able to pay off the national debt?"

See, no monster under your bed

"I tied his line around this log, then I tug on it once in awhile. He's gullible, because it's been three hours now."

"He's allergic to peanuts, sensitive to wheat, lactose-intolerant, and just plain weirded out by fruit."

"Apologies, sir. The mansion is haunted by Randy, the master's late spaniel."

'Isn't it great Darling: The kids are now old enough to have dinner ready when we get home...'

"Are you sure this is in your job description?"

'What do you mean give the boy a house key? He'll lose it, learn how to break in despite our sophisticated security system and be on his way to a life of crime.'

'You couldn't just lock him up somewhere, could you?'

'The kids just get so upset when a pet dies, so we decided to get one of these tortoises that live to be 150.'

Sometimes I worry about you, Axel. Teenagers are a big source of anxiety for their guardians. You don

Never divulge your credit card pin number to your children!'

"Brenda takes no chances over someone stealing our washing."

"If you connect the measles, it spells out 'My parents are idiots.'"