Guardian Of The Couch Mugs

Guardian Angel Orientation. Guardian angels are constantly on duty. You'll be binge-watching over!

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

A knight sent to kill a dragon armed with a fly swatter

'John is watching the game under protest.'

Hell No Kitty

'What? I'm scratching the sofa! I'm not! And if I was? It's your fault!'

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

'Yes, you were abandoned. But then I adopted you. Why are you still taking it out on my couch?'

'Having him declawed was a total was a total waste of money.'

'Maybe I haven't made myself clear enough. I really don't want to be disturbed today!'

'Next on News 7...GM offers to bail out the government in the event of a shutdown...'

'It's good to see Dad keeping his mind active.'

'Will you tell the dog I live here!'

"Why would I care of you scratch the couch? I'm not allowed on it..."

Pet dogs owner thinks her life is boring

"Maybe this will make you less of a jerk!"

"This is for all the things you have already heard about via social media."

There is no limit to the amount of nonsense that men can talk about football.

Mud Slinging

"I tied his line around this log, then I tug on it once in awhile. He's gullible, because it's been three hours now."

"No incumbents were harmed in the passage of this stimulus package...."

"Don't push her off! Can't you see she's exhausted?"

Who am I kidding?

"Hey, who died and gave you the right to determine my water rights?"

'Next we have a fabulous double-play combo - two players, one low price!'

"Police. Nobody move or groove."

"Have we got time for a quick argument before our programme starts..?"

"Hmm, that's interesting, but can you ask the voices in your head to zip it till I hear the score?"

They tell us we have to save energy. Well he hasn't expended any in fifteen years.

'Today a government spokesman admitted U.S. foreign policy is so confused...'

The Vigil

Superpac donations of the rich & famous.

Armchair Critics.

'Bad things happened to good people today -- film at eleven.'

'Here it is, Mom. . . 'Never make any sudden moves around an adult male protecting his remote. Let him know you have no intention of taking it from him and he will gradually come to his senses.''