Guard Duty Aficionado Mugs

"He's not here to keep someone from breaking in. He's here to keep students from breaking out!"

"He's a guard dog."

'You can come down a peg. Mesopotamia gave the world bureaucracy, you know.'

'Do you remember the good old days when April 15 was the only 'fiscal cliff' people worried about?'

"I'm retired now - since I sold my 'know when you're naughty or nice' technology to NSA last year."

"It's General Douglas MacArthur."

Sign on Secret Service door: Could be out to lunch.

"Ya know, dad...I get to pretend I'm a superhero because of real heroes like you."

'I can't shake off this feeling we're being watched.'

"Here's the weak point."

'I'm a guard dog too.'

Army Man Playset 2020

"I spent 18-plus years, $2 trillion and around 2,400 dead soldiers in Afghanistan, and all I got was. . . this lousy turban."

Banting in the Yeomanry

"Today U.S. Defense Industry stocks rose on news Dick Cheney endorsed Donald Trump."

"You're under arrest for breaking the law of gravity! You have the right to..."

'Can I have your autograph...?'

"Henry took a shower yesterday right next to Winthrop Rockefeller."

"I just installed a home security monitor."

Remounts for the Yeomanry

My army drill instructors license plate is HUP-2-3-4.

'Mess with me if you have to, son, but not with the regimental moustache!'

'The jury and our computers find the defendant guilty.'

"I don't see this as a rejection of all thing French."

'He's feeling very proud of himself. He went to watchdog school and graduated 'Magna cum loudly.''

'Being a Drill Sergeant isn't s tough - all you got to know is how to count to four.'

Grocer with pretensions of being a soldier

'This won't take long, Senator -- I'm a single-issue nut.'

"Tell me about your fear of policemen."

'But this IS my mobile home!'

First Stealth Aircraft.