Growing Up Journey Gifts

"Now that I've quit hating girls, I 've got pimples."

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

The Seven Dwarfs After Therapy

Pony express. Pony express yourself. Pony express yourself so much he left.

Grand. Baby Grand. Toddler Grand. Teen Grand.

"You're not the same pupa you were when we first met."

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

"It may not look like it to you, but trust me, he's hyperactive. It's exhausting!"

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

'Okay mum, I'll eat it all up. But I doubt I'll grow big and strong on this muck!'

"This is just SO like him. For years, I begged him to straighten up and fly right, and when he finally DID, it was right into a picture window!"

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

'You've changed.'

'Think about it guys: We're fed and sheltered, why would we ever think about leaving the nest?'

"Mom said eat everything in moderation, so I renamed the cookie jar 'Moderation.'"

'Dad, I know all about the birds and the bees; explain stock-swaps and derivatives.'

'Son, the world is ripe for the taking ... you better stay home with me.'

"No, I want to know the meaning of never calling your mother."

“I know you’re really busy right now, but when you have a chance I’d love to pick your brain about how you got to where you are today.”

"You used to be that ambitious."

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

Origins Of Evolution

'Wow Dad, I'm growing fast: Soon, my tongue will be as long as yours...'

'I think I'm getting somewhere. On the way over I stopped to smell the flowers.'

You'll be a manicotti soon enough, son - Just enjoy being a mostaccioli while it lasts.

"You used to be a lot more fun."

'I can change! I swear!'

A push in the right direction: 50c.

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

"Dad—will the heroine go into rehab?"

"You give the tooth fairy your teeth, and she gives you some money. It's called reverse mortgage."

"I plan on keeping this off my resume!"

"Hon, I'm taking your advice and starting a new chapter."