Grocery Warriors Pillows

"Ordering groceries online can be unpredictable."

Express Lane Ten Items Or Less Or A $5 Surcharge.

"Everything's gone up."

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

'Our short-term solution is money. Our long-term solution is more money.'

"Bye now... it's always nice to see you and little Tommy!"

So those are your 'weapons of mass destruction? - Slugs?

"Returns"

'...now pour the mixture into a baking dish...'

"Ooh look, the high street's evolved to survive!"

'My micro is so good it's beginning to grow into the macro.'

Gas Bill

Super express lane for working mothers only!

'This week, the secret ingredient on Iron chef is . . . Iron. Good luck, suckas.'

"Any chance of some credit?"

"My husband can carry up to fifty times his body weight: he's great to go shopping with..."

"While we do appreciate your diligence... It's not the store's policy to shoot shoplifters!"

Hell's Allotment Holders.

"There's the handoff, and it looks like Dad is going to go with an option route, avoiding the rush from the dishwasher, sweeping left, evading the teenager blitz and heading directly to the liquor store!"

"The last thing I expected was to find a giant squirrel from outer space raking our leaves. Not that I'm complaining."

'Sorry son, I spent all your inheritence fighting inheritence tax.'

"Is it safe to assume that the meat is laced with antibiotics and the salad is chockfull of pesticides?"

Express Checkout: One Basket Only.

Going Shopping Together.

'As many items as I want or no customer!'

"... And you said this was you and your husband's first time shopping at Costco?"

'How many potatoes to make a bottle of vodka?.'

Man and dog role reversal

'...and even though the rest of us hate brussel sprouts, we thank you Lord for the food you've provided for us.'

Amazing new parenting methods...No. 94, preventing obesity.

'There's room for one up top.'

Trolley Cage

"It seems an ungrateful and disrespectful monster has taken over Baldo's brain."

Closed at 1, Open at 2, but to you...1:45.

'I'm not sure what to do with you. You had a customer complaint this morning, then, a few minutes ago, you got a customer compliment...I guess they balance each other out.'