Grocery Store Strategist Mugs

"Do you still give a discount on dented cans?"

"Junior just kept saying 'add to cart...add to cart...'."

Bad for you but to die for

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

Only One Item or Fewer.

"No, we can't get you a new toy every time we go shopping."

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

Only 1 calorie per serving: One million servings per can.

"Oh my god -- I can't believe it's real butter!"

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

It was a good chance to get together and talk shop.

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

"I'll throw in a few extra pinstripes."

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

'I've got it written down...'

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

Supermarket Merge

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

'Retirement Training Program'"Very good, Larry! Just one more step and you'll have the entire aisle blocked!"

"How will you be paying? Crypto, Venmo, electronic fund transfer, credit card, check, cash, precious metals, brightly colored shells or livestock?"

'...Contains Phixe-knide, TBHQ, hydro-cla, Cyklid, Yetfopnmide - and other unpronounceable stuff.' (grocery store)

Artificial Isle

"Eeny, meeny, miney, mo.."

"I have no idea where we parked the car, or why we exist."

"Class, welcome back Sean ... who, you may recall, was lost for eight days in Home Depot."

'And this one is just today's grocery list from my wife.'

'But what do you sell?'

'Celeb Foods: Damien Hurst's voles in brine.'

"I think the milk's off!"

"Why is this cart so heavy?"

'Advanced warning: High cholesterol 10mtrs ahead.'