Grocery Store Satirist T-Shirts

An ID to Buy Groceries

Hand baskets only lane in hell.

Greengrocer selling rotten fruit for a political rally.

Sign Reform

Pirates at the mall.

What if retail stores behaved like websites?

"What would you suggest to fill the dark, empty spaces in my soul?"

'I just couldn't think of the word poultry.'

"They put nipples on the mannequins so you'll look at the stupid sweaters. Duh!"

"Once you break through the plastic clamshell and blister packs, there won't be any packaging left!"

'The stuff legends are made of'

Eye of Newt Helper

Frozen Food - Pick Your Own

Low income vampires.

'Yes?'

5 foot high or less aisle in a supermarket

Free Range / Deranged

'Darn it! The bar code doesn't seem to be working. . . flip him over and let's try the other side. . .'

Woman with sardine tin with warning that it may contain mutant whale-size sardines.

That was 16 items.

New: imitation spaghetti - Impasta.

'Notice: results of new studies: most of what was good for you is bad for you - most of what was bad for you is good for you'

'Is this milk fresh?' - 'An hour ago it was grass.'

"Footwear's upstairs, Sir"

"People take it more seriously than 'Please don't pinch the peaches'."

"So if I'm to understand you correctly, this 'engineered athletic footwear' with its 'extended torsion system' is also a sneaker?"

"I say my dear, would you pass me some ice please - the fresh stuff, not that frozen rubbish."

Christmas carol: 'Blow your budget stuff your trolley, tr-la-la-la-laaa-la-la-la-la...'

Holds leftovers, easy to carry... Gotta say, he almost had me. Right up to th 'Keeps food fresh' part. What a waste of a good idea.

Woman walking past Five Guys.

'This could be a new record!'

Toothpaste mental shutdown.

10 items or less queue. (Woman has thrown eggs onto floor).

Undertakers' supermarket.

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