Grocery List Guru Pillows

'And this one is just today's grocery list from my wife.'

Wife to husband with grocery sacks loaded with parrots: 'It distinctly says 'a bunch of carrots,' Al.'

'I said Mascarpone not Mask A Pony!'

Man sending dog to fetch items...

"You forgot to pick up my prescription, didn't you?"

"It was your job to make a grocery list and the only thing you have written down is 'Milk'???"

Domestic Superheroes!!

Twenty-first century baby walker

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"Milk, butter, bread - all past the expiration date. either he just hadn't noticed before, or his time machine worked."

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

Lioness Shops for Snacks.

Instant Laundry Detergent, 'Just add water'.

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

Only One Item or Fewer.

"Wait, what are you doing?"

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

"Oh my god -- I can't believe it's real butter!"

"My God!!..Just how long have we had this Broccoli hiding in the back of the fridge?"

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

Unusual Offers

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

'I've got it written down...'

'VEGETARIAN ZOMBIES' BW

Supermarket: Leafs, Rail Leafs

"They have oat fiber, wheat fiber, and rice fiber, but no moral fiber."

Alphabet soup

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

Low Hanging Fruit

Self-Checkout.

'Retirement Training Program'"Very good, Larry! Just one more step and you'll have the entire aisle blocked!"

Friendly bacteria