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'On second thought dear, I think it's your turn to make breakfast.'

"Watch out! You almost got me!"

"Do you want to swipe left or right?"

"Trust me, Lew, if anyone knows where the salmon are jumping, she does!"

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

"Which end does the diaper go on 'cause there's stuff comin' out of both of 'em!"

"YOU pass him on the left."

'We've had an application from No.10 Downing Street. . . they need to extend their cabinet room.'

"If they shorten political campaigns, what will we do for entertainment?"

Goblin.

"In the Game of Life, my son, the fix is in."

Artwork in a gallery still has wet paint.

'Relax, teamwork always leads to a slam dunk.'

'Ok, I've gotta ask..do you actually like this job?'

High Stakes Texas Hold 'Em

Bear Bears his Cross

“Sorry, we don’t accept the living dead.”

Covid Boarding Pass

'Can I sleep over in the real world? Please, please, please, please.'

'You're too late - a bear with a sweet toorh ate me out of house and home.'

"I have two children by a previous tour."

'Yes,I'm wearing clean underwear.Why do you ask?'

Remember, Ed, they are more afraid of you than you are of them.

'Did you hear a twig snap?'

"Well, you shouted come on the five dog!"

"I hid your eggs in a glacier that's calving."

Walk for Death

Dancing with death.

'Boy, am I glad to see you. I lost my gun, my glasses and my clothes.'

"I'm dating a professional goalkeeper..."

"So how does that eightfold path get us back on the Garden State?"

'Now we come to the most exciting part, but unfortunately my husband was too busy to get a shot of it.'

'Sorry, I've decided not to die.'

'Hey! - Don't you meditate when I'm talking to you!'