Grinch Humorist Gifts

Human Cull: People who send Christmas news letters that detail all their health problems in the last year.

Christmas: "Let's open some more next week."

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"

'I hate all holidays!'

First we thought the apes would conquer the world...When in reality we've been busy mining the end of the world all along.

"This city is becoming unlivable."

"He was a grouch when I met him. It was love at first gripe."

"Oh no! This chimney needs re-pointing."

"I'll cross any ocean to fight for our country! I'll travel to the gates of hell to defend our rights!"

"...And since the cure is worse than the disease, we can make more money by developing a cure for that!"

"We hope it's just a bug with our new Quantum mainframe."

Meeting at the Grumpy Old Men's Pub.

"...They must be poor catchers, there's two men behind the plate."

"Half full, or half empty? Do you want a positive spin, or a negative spin?"

"But is it art ?"

'I've turned another corner in my life.' 'One more corner and you'll be back where you started.'

'He's determined not to enjoy himself this Christmas.'

'I'm the same as you - too sick to go into work, but well enough to go shopping!'

"Ah, damn. Now I'll be triggered all morning."

Oink.

"If we want to get across our warnings about the dire consequences of not saving for a future then we need powerful dramatic message!"

"If you're going out, pick up some candles."

'He looks great in the field, but can he bat?'

'Instead of the usual boring campaign speech, folks, I'm going to make some balloon animals!'

"I've never hated Christmas, just people."

Expansion 2000: The Baton Rouge Ball Boys

This plaque commemorates the trees that was cut down to make space for this bench.

"Merry Christmas. You Cheerful, Chirpring, Cheeping, Tweeting, Tw*ttering, Twittering Tw*t!"

Shows Bundt

'Yes, I broke that campaign promise, but it was never NOTARIZED!'

"It looks like they're getting tougher, honey."