Grieving Period Mugs

"He had a full two weeks."

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

'Yes, death signifies a cosmic change of address. Alas, your husband's mail will not be forwarded.'

"We laughed. We cried. But mostly we watched TV."

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

"My wife and I handle our own finances. I'm an accountant and she's a grief counselor."

"I feel terrible admitting this, but I'm sort of glad he's dead. One less thing to keep track of."

'He's a conspiracy theorist - he refuses to believe that Great Aunt Mildred is really dead.'

'He doesn't talk to me anymore.'

'Life is a precious thing, but simply breathing and existing isn't living...the end is inevitable for everything...I'm afraid that time has come for you, dear. I have to pull the plug...'

'I bought winter tyres and it didn't snow.'

'Hope it's legit. I never had the chance to say good riddance.'

"Only time can heal a broken heart, Brenda, and fortunately I have the time, every Thursday at three o'clock."

"Sorry, wrong room."

"After losing my partner, I felt lost until I realized I had not only an empty shell but also a short-term accommodation business."

'Let it go. Get on with your death.'

'I don't understand it! On earth he was deathly afraid of flying.'

"Damn, I forgot to get her kugel recipe."

"After Harry was gone I started decorating the house as a distraction. It was around the time I was wallpapering the driveway that I thought I should seek grief counseling."

"Well, well – if it isn't the old crystal ball and chain."

Hedgehog Mortuary.

"Sure, it's disrespectful, but knowing old scamp, he'd want us to dig up his bones."

'It's ok, sir, we'll put you in touch with one of our grief counselors.'

''On behalf of my colleagues I wanted to let you know that we are all crying inside.''

"There, there. Try to remember how much he annoyed you."

'Touching.'

Great Joys like griefs are silent.

The final stage of grief is acceptance. And the inevitable long and rambling acceptance speech.

"I was able to get in one last lecture about diet and exercise."

A stranger in paradise.

"I never got a chance to say 'Shut up.' "

'As your Guardian Angel, I want you to know that death is not anything to worry about.'

"It's not sediment, it's my late husband's ashes - he always said he wouldn't mind being drunk when he died."