Greetings Guru T-Shirts

Cards for everyone: Birthday, anniversary and 'I told you so'.

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

At the 2021 Religious Games

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

Cat Reunion

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

Thank you bubbles

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

"I'm fascinated by body language."

A mime and his pet parrot talk to one another.

Guru.

Say it with flowers - available in any language.

'Wish you wouldn't cut your nails at bedtime!'

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

'The fourth quarter was no walk in the park. Especially for those who count on us to walk in the park.'

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

"To mediate properly, you need a mantra. How about 'Ka-Ching'?"

'The trouble is, once you've attained enlightenment, it's all downhill.'

Greeting card section: 'thank you' and 'you're welcome'.

OM, SWEET OM

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"

"I'll match donations when you match my tax payments."

Is it a book? A film? A TV show? How do you mime a podcast?

"You've traveled all this way just to score some pot? Okay—How much do you want?"

'I warned him about thinking the unthinkable!'

Meeting Pie Chart

Bearded old man atop mountain.

'Bob likes to express himself through his art!'

"As for the meaning of life, it doesn't have to suck."

'Oh wise one - what is the secret to long life?'

Just think of meditation as "mental floss." (Published previously on 3/17/2006.)