Green-thumbed Pen Pal Gifts

"My dear Charles: I am writing to you in soy ink on recycled paper."

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

The Music Seed

Okay, dig that one up!

'I'll just put them here until the danger of frost passes - probably next April'

Goddess of Fertility garden feature

"Oh no, it's Flash Garden!"

"And that's when they left for vacation!"

A dead plant in the environment section.

"You make me feel 'hole'."

"I wanted something classical, he wanted a vegetable garden, so we compromised..."

Florist - Dead Plants 1/2 Price!

'Was this eye of newt locally sourced?'

Dog in a Flower Pot.

Protecting the green

"We view it as a rather remarkable feat of genetic engineering."

Ernie got up on the wrong side of the garden bed again.

Ten deeply green bottles

"Hang on Darling, this doesn't feel right..."

Customers seek Alyssum in Garden Centre.

Gardening Terminology: Freezia

Irregular Fruits and Veggies: "It's our inner beauty that counts..."

"Do you have anything less - green?"

It's not Global Warming silly: I bought a plastic plant...

'It's getting late. We should set up camp here and start out again in the morning.'

'You stop buying books and I'll stop buying plants.'

'It' really nothing - we're just doing a bit of recycling.'

"It started as a little harmless tree-hugging and sort of grew from there."

Monster Plant.

'Must be an Umberto Eco-town.'

Manure as Fertilizer and other Tales of Derring-Doo.

Zombie Housekeeping

'My plants are dead Have you been listening to Rush Limbaugh while I was shopping'

'Did you know the gardener also does hair?'