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Nick's Greek Restaurant: Special - Nick's own translation of the Odyssey

Come dine with me!

Try to guess the continent dining...

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."

'Two famous French wines.' 'Red and white.'

"Gigot de sept heures."

'This is delicious. I'm glad I didn't try to order in Italian.'

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

'This is my kind of Chinese...A chocolate double fudge fortune cookie!'

"We're not just some tavern, you know. Those Greek olives make us a Taverna."

Culture clash

'Let me get this straight: you'll answer three questions, but only three questions? No kidding? Boy, is this my lucky day or what?'

"This time, let's not just fill up on bread."

'Here's a good one, France on 2000 calories a day.'

"Interested in some romantic punk rock during your dinner?"

"In financial news, Greek shares continue their slide. Of note, International Feta Cheese continues to crumble."

'The escargots are underdone.'

Inappropriate garnish.

'Greek restaurant?' 'No, menu upside down.'

"And here you have a brown thing next to something greenish, with some sort of brown runny stuff underneath it."

"Step right up, lady and gents, and scoop yourself a heaping helping of the best spicy meat and bean stew this side of the mighty Mississippi!"

French man holding a dish.

'Book me a Greek holiday Charlotte, I want to break plates!'

'Perhaps monsieur found the Vichyssoise 'crunchy' because the soup bowl was not edible.'

'Madam, we do not discuss Julia Child at Maison Henri.'

"So nice to see things 'a la financiere' again."

Clancy: Frogs' Legs

'Not an unqualified success chef...'

"It probably tastes better than it looks!"

'If you were in a hurry, sir, you shoudn't have ordered the overnight marinade.'

'A bit pungent, perhaps, but very satisfying.'

"Sometimes I come up here and think about the great meals I've eaten."

" 'Tonight's Specials,' a poem."