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Here Lies John Watson Dominoes Champion

Man runs scared from ringing graveyard bell.

Life after death

'He never listened to his mother!'

'It says here that later in life they were able to patch things up and became best of friends.'

Cemetery: Communicated with your loved one see Madam Zolta within.

'We've found the problem...'

'McWit never could build anything level.'

In the houseplant cemetery.

Vampire Couple, "I suppose you're out again for your usual eight pints?"

'He won't bite anyone! I'm hoping it's just a phase.'

'That was so funny. I haven't booed that loudly in years.'

"Pop, what part of ‘rest in peace’ don’t you understand?!"

"The meal was delicious. My compliments to the Haematologist"

"It's not that I dislike being dead. It's just that death is for dead guys, you know..." Woody Allen dies, but his body keeps talking and talking and talking.

'Seriously, Earl, if you say you've got a bone to pick with me one more time, I'm out of here.'

"As a vegan vampire I suck but I don't swallow."

"She always said she'd only share this recipe over her dead body."

Dog steals a bone from a cemetery.

"Were the x-rays really necessary?"

'You have no new messages in your mailbox.'

"Is that your resting witch or resting bitch face. . .?"

"So for you being buried alive was largely a negative experience?"

"Now be honest, does it make me look younger?"

'I really hope that Fred makes the most of it until she joins him for the rest of eternity!'

"Our relationship would never work, Megan! We'd always be at each other's throat!"

'Fill 'er up!'

Vampire Humor

Respects to Kevin Woodcock.

'I've never felt so alive...'

What Vampires and Snowmen have in Common

'Since I started drinking AB Positive blood, I feel a lot better about myself!'

"I never thought I'd have to move back in with my parents."