Gratitude Skeptic Prints

'What's the catch?'

"You've been so good to us all these years. Is there anything we can do to repay you?"

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

"I understand the allure of religion. It offers hope in a world that's often cruel and unfair. But religion's promises have been consistently proven false. Science, on the other hand, has actually delivered the things that improve human life...."

"Sure, it's Good News, but is it fake news?"

10 Commandments in the Supreme Court (USA)

"I may have wasted my life, but at least I don't look stupid."

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

"Anyway, it turned out that god was a ruddy algorithm after all!"

'I hope there's something better on the 'other side'!..'

"Eventually the leaders of every religion say 'We spoke to God and he wants you to give us money.' ...Every. Single. One."

Because of bad weather and lots of people moving slowly on the path, it took forever to get here! Everybody was picking up a pumpkin on Wednesday. There was a huge crowd and long lines at the pumpkin patch. My brother and I can't be seated together today. We'd argue and disagree about who should run the village council. After this huge meal nobody's gonna want to stick around and clean up this mess! If they're still having this celebration centuries from now, I'm sure they'll have worked i

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

Holy Roller Church: We accept all denominations, but we are especially fond of $20, $50, $100, & $500...

"Now don't expect any miracles. I'm only a para-scientist."

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

'It may look that way... But actually, I'm an atheist

"Nothing is as it seems, my son."

"and what are you giving up for lent, Reverend?" "Religion"

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"

'Do I ever wonder about a higher power? No, I wonder what's on TV.'

'How do we know YOU'RE not bearing false witness?'

'This one contains the commandments that will make people ENJOY life! Ha ha, just kidding.'

"God, I hate theme dinners."

"Easter and Halloween are my two favorite zombie-related holidays."

House of Wishful Thinking

Actual Results May Vary

'So it wasn't b*****t after all.'

"And Lord, let not thy laws apply to me, your loyal servant, but only to those miserable sinners whose souls we endeavor to save when it suits us."

'Jesus? Jesus who?'

'You've convinced me. I'm becoming an atheist.'

I have a confession. Sometimes I doubt that God is really a giant chicken. Eggnostics.