Grass-fed Gourmand Pillows

"And how’s my grass-fed, hormone-free cash cow doing today?"

The wonderful world of cheese.

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"I love finding my food at the Farmers Market. Makes me feel like a true pioneer."

'He was hosting a business dinner for 300. Those were his last words.'

"Perhaps we should cleanse our palates first?"

Just one more choccy...

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

'Is it organic?'

Tomorrow we'll cheer the fourth of July! Picnics with families mean hot dogs to buy! Flags will be waving so proudly up high! And fireworks displays will light the night sky which Frank will miss due to way too much pie! Pie Eating Contest!

'Mmm... the bouquet flickers around the nose like butterflies sweetly scented by the shower from a the milk of a goddesses breasts.'

Vet to angry-looking dog: 'You ate some crabgrass, eh? Were you self-medicating again?'

Dijon Vu

'You could use more fiber in your diet; go sow a few wild oat brans.'

'Don't worry, Sir. Most of our customers get indigestion when they see the bill.'

"Love the cheese - not so sure about the presentation."

Capturing a Cook

God Cooks Up Evolution

Cow puts salad dressing on grass.

You've Got Mail

Coffee, toast and some of my special homemade turkey marmalade!

'What d'you say to a massive Szechuan-style wok fry-up before we start?'

For once, I'd like to order a non-soy-based tofu substitute. No more health food. I have Tofurkey.

"Now this is what I call a thanksgiving break."

"If I'm billing six hundred dollars an hour, lunch just cost me $ 638.75."

Ned Thompson, unpretentious wine taster.

He didn't even remember signing up for the taste test.

"I'm done - I only jog far enough to burn off the cheesecake I had for breakfast."

'Meadow fescue, meadow grass and perennial ryegrass! This is going to be the best party ever!'