Grass-fed Gourmand Mugs

"And how’s my grass-fed, hormone-free cash cow doing today?"

The wonderful world of cheese.

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"I love finding my food at the Farmers Market. Makes me feel like a true pioneer."

'He was hosting a business dinner for 300. Those were his last words.'

Just one more choccy...

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

'Is it organic?'

'Mmm... the bouquet flickers around the nose like butterflies sweetly scented by the shower from a the milk of a goddesses breasts.'

Vet to angry-looking dog: 'You ate some crabgrass, eh? Were you self-medicating again?'

'You could use more fiber in your diet; go sow a few wild oat brans.'

Dijon Vu

'Don't worry, Sir. Most of our customers get indigestion when they see the bill.'

"Love the cheese - not so sure about the presentation."

God Cooks Up Evolution

Capturing a Cook

'What d'you say to a massive Szechuan-style wok fry-up before we start?'

You've Got Mail

Coffee, toast and some of my special homemade turkey marmalade!

"Now this is what I call a thanksgiving break."

"If I'm billing six hundred dollars an hour, lunch just cost me $ 638.75."

He didn't even remember signing up for the taste test.

"I'm done - I only jog far enough to burn off the cheesecake I had for breakfast."

'Meadow fescue, meadow grass and perennial ryegrass! This is going to be the best party ever!'

"It's not just compared to the table, damn it. This is a small portion."