Grant Writing Warrior Pillows

"Our research is solidified, but our funding has vaporized."

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Molecular Biology and Cosmology buildings

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

'And finally, there is the universal solution.'

"I'm in nonprofit work for the money."

"I have a huge house, millions in the bank, and a twenty year old wife. But am I happy?..."

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

"That's the last time I write my own resume!"

"What lead you to growing human tests in a test tube?"

"O.K., she's sitting fown to write in three...two....one...."

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

'The best grants lie that-a-ways, Ma'am.'

"Here's what you wanted – a strategy to live abundantly, build capital, surpass your peers and disappoint your heirs."

'You're on the shortlist. It's between you and the bloke who's going to get the job.'

'Since we all have to believe in something, I thought, 'Why not money?''

"I finally got tenure by publishing a research paper funded by a grant about subsidies."

Shakespeare working on his "author's bio"

'Can you debunk my essay?'

Professor McWit, Didn't Publish, So Perished.

"Our proposal didn't get the grant, but they want us to teach proposal writing."

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

'I don't believe it - if this evidence is correct it'll rock the very foundations of our research grant application.'

"Congratulations Professor, the committee 'okayed' your grant request."

"I've accepted that I'm getting richer."

Examiners.

'What makes me mad, I was only a couple seats away from all the right answers!'

"Well, we got the grant."

"All those years of dodging taxes and chasing investment yield have kept me in top shape, right?"

"I'll match donations when you match my tax payments."

Too much homework: kid with two backpacks.