Grandparent Appreciator T-Shirts

I need to take the day off. Family tragedy. What happened? An errant parachutist crash-landed. My grandmother knocked down. Then attacked by clowns. No one ever buys sick day anymore.

"Go ahead. Ask Grandpa to tell you the story about why we don't play with matches."

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

"Tell me again, Grandpa, about how you let your freak flag fly."

Old snowboarder with a zimmerboard.

The Final Selfie

'The idea is to go where no man my age has gone before. I want to be the 'John Glenn' of Salsa.'

'Go right on in, Helen. By the way, be sure to read tomorrow's newspaper - I understand your grandson has drawn a cartoon in your honor.'

"Ok, I have my hearing aids on now: let's hear this mighty roar of yours. . ."

Thomas was brought up by his extended family

'My grandson has been walking from an early age. . . Oh yes, in fact, by the time he was two he'd been walking three years.'

Future Old People

Young MacDonald

"I'd tell you about my grandchildren, but their lawyers have advised against it."

"This is humiliating. Couldn't you drop me a block from school?"

"People keep telling me that it takes more facial muscles to frown than it does to smile... I tell them that I am working out."

"I'm not surprised that it's a bad school report. Statistics indicate that children get their intelligence from their fathers!"

When we're first born, they clean up our drooling. When we can't swim, they help with our pooling. When halloween comes, they take us ghouling. When homework gets tough, they aid with our schooling. When it gets hot, they make sure we're cooling. Moms are the best! We thank you, no fooling!

"You weren't kidding, those are just tiny pictures of your grandkids!"

Elderly tightrope walker.

"Wow! Gramps was REALLY happy to get all those neckties for Father's Day!"

"Hey, I'll do the kvelling around here."

"Just dropped by to do my groceries."

'Moonbeam just had a hippie replacement.'

'I want to send a get-well card to my husband's nurse.'

"OK. You're the Ghost of Christmas Present. Quite amusing. Now go away!"

"I grew up in the drug culture but now I get the same effect by standing up too fast."

"At least you're not afraid to fail."

'Watching Chet compete with our great grandson to see who can go longest without having to have his diaper changed. What are you doing?'

'You realize I have to tell grandma about this?'

'Why can't my mother be more like my grandmother?'

'Quick! Kids! There's a positive male role model on the television...'

'First time grandfather hey! Me, I'm a great great great great great great great great grandfather...'

"Mom handles all my unwanted calls. She goes on about the grandkids and they never call back!"

New Grandad