Grandad T-Shirts

"What the difference between these two old men?"

'That's Grandpa's main data processing system.'

"It's a snow-grandad!"

'Excellent! There's no mention of a ban on Grandparents smacking children..' (children fighting in background).

Dear Dad.

'Grandad's longevity has gone through the roof.'

Announcement at teatime

'Ah, now's there's something different....'

Family.

Fisherman

Thai boxing for beginners.

Man flu.

Sprightly old man

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

Young Frank Lloyd Wright

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"Young Frankenstein"

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

City Zoo: Day Care

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Bond James, Bond."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

Prize vegetables.