Grammar Policeman Pillows

"I found a misused apostrophe in one of your entrees."

A Puppet Named Juan

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

I will study my speling words...

Punctuation Police

School Cafeteria. It's the start of the school year. The Geometry teacher will come by to verify that we're serving truly square meals. The grammar teacher says the alphabet soup is runny and needs some punctuation added. History teachers keep a record of all the past meals and so will notice any leftovers being served. And the computer lab staff expressed concern about all the cookies so the astronomy teacher suggested switching to candy for dessert. I'll bet she thinks Starburst and Milk

'Why can't we have a texting bee?'

A Copy Editor and His Dog

Someone who knows apostrophes

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

'The Questioner'

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

Smith Academy. A Tradition of Excellense.

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

"I know its hard to believe right now, Lawrence, but some day you'll thank me for asking you to punctuate your sentences correctly."

'The definition of OBSOLETE: old fashioned dictionaries.'

"I know! I know! I K-n-o-w!. . . Um, what was the question?"

"Sorry I'm late. I overslept." "Is that even a real word?"

'Curious how all four previous employers spelt 'exceptional' with just an 'x'.'

Lessons in Prehistory.

'Who teaches apostrophe usage?'

Conflating Science and Grammar. The boy threw the ball. What grammatical role does "ball" play in this sentence? An object in motion!

"Let's fall in love and live in the subjunctive."

Desert $2.75. See? -- It wasn't a typo.

"Nuts to you, too."

I'm not saying I'm not a hound dog. I'm saying I'm not nothing but a hound dog.

"So, hw ws yr smmr?"

Contemporary English Lesson: The Cat was Sat on the Mat.

"It's not fair! I only got 100 on my English test!"

"You can use the alphabet to text. You can use the alphabet to tweet. Why can't you use the alphabet to spell?"

Shakespeare loved a grammar joke