Grammar Expert T-Shirts

"I was a gainfully employed copy editor. Suddenly, one day, I couldn't tell an em dash from an en dash."

She's been teaching too long!

A Puppet Named Juan

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

Thru versus Through Traffic

I will study my speling words...

School Cafeteria. It's the start of the school year. The Geometry teacher will come by to verify that we're serving truly square meals. The grammar teacher says the alphabet soup is runny and needs some punctuation added. History teachers keep a record of all the past meals and so will notice any leftovers being served. And the computer lab staff expressed concern about all the cookies so the astronomy teacher suggested switching to candy for dessert. I'll bet she thinks Starburst and Milk

Punctuation Police

'Why can't we have a texting bee?'

A Copy Editor and His Dog

Someone who knows apostrophes

Kid in class corrects teachers spelling.

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

'The Questioner'

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

Miss, how do you spell "acceptable"? I've Googled every "e" and can't find it.

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

'Roget it's fantastic, superb, extraordinary...where on earth did you get the idea?'

Smith Academy. A Tradition of Excellense.

"I try to write a little bit every day."

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

"I know its hard to believe right now, Lawrence, but some day you'll thank me for asking you to punctuate your sentences correctly."

I'm not saying I'm not a hound dog. I'm saying I'm not nothing but a hound dog.

Dating an English Major

"I know! I know! I K-n-o-w!. . . Um, what was the question?"

'Curious how all four previous employers spelt 'exceptional' with just an 'x'.'

Personnel - "This letter of recommendation is full of misspellings!"

'The definition of OBSOLETE: old fashioned dictionaries.'

Conflating Science and Grammar. The boy threw the ball. What grammatical role does "ball" play in this sentence? An object in motion!

"Nuts to you, too."

Doggone