Graduate Advisor T-Shirts

Personnel. I've heard of "magna cum laude" and "summa cum laude," but I've never heard of a person graduating "persona non grata." (Published originally on June 3, 1981.)

Ethics exam cheater.

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

"Oh, stop it. You are not at all obtuse." Complimentary angles make the other angles feel good about themselves.

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

"Make a lot of money."

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

Continuing education.

"I know this is not a proper job for a PhD, Mom, but I have student loans to repay."

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

U of Debt

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

Good Luck!

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

"Give a man a fish and you feed him for the day. Teach a man to fish and you can charge a consulting fee."

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

'Answer these constituents letters. Tell them to go to hell in a nice way.'

All Hail the Matriarchy

'It's time to move out when Mom says...'

'I still want to be a cowboy.'

'Unemployed math grad. Will solve quadratic equations for food."

"Just go with the workflow."

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

'I chose my field on what would put the most impressive initials after my name.'

'I took a couple of years off after college to work on my smirk.'

"I'd like to change my major from dental to mental."

'I wasted a lot of time in graduate school to get this job.'

Saving for College.

Good Luck!

'You will now be presented with your degrees. That is, of course, after you jump through another one of our little hoops.'

"Remember, Man of good Sense not here to do work on your behalf. Man of good Sense only here to help you on strategic level until you wise enough to overcome recession."