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Federal Bureau of Management and Budget - Visit our new website easy.comeasy.gov

'Why retire? Working a nonfunctioning - government is just like being retired.'

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

"Hell, George - they even miss ME!"

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

'Not a word to Alfred, but the spare bedroom is worth losing the fourteen pounds!'

'I don't care if it's a little storage room for King Tut, you still need a building permit and contractor's license.'

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

'Poor Americans...If this includes intellectual torture, they'll have to cancel 70 of their Hollywood productions...' (Caption may be modified.)

"Absolutely, Senator, in my mind it was always my country first, and obscene profits second."

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

'...And you're always complaining about the government's international trade agreements'

'Sure, but think what a crook I'd be without hypocrisy!'

"So we have met before..."

"I cede the remainder of my time to the ranking member."

Comments. Complaints. Constitutional Amendments.

DOGE* to English Instant Translator Device

The F.B.I.'s Least Wanted.

"OSHA is going to hear about this!"

Wolf Reintroduction.

Day 1: The Launch. . . Starting Day 2: Another Government Bailout.

'Oh no! The sharp elbowed middle class!'

The average taxpayer will ultimately embrace the auto industry bailout. Hell, we sold em all that useless undercoating for all these years!

"I just want someone who texts me as often as Joe Biden does, you know?"

Federal Departument of Edutainment.

'I know the Oval Office is in the West Wing. I wonder what mischief goes on in the East Wing?'

'I tried those once. They leaked.'

'Ask NOT what your country can do you...but what gender neutral policy initiatives can be put up for discussion and negotiation within a framework of ZERO fiscal resource allocation...'

"Let's give him a few minutes to grieve. His idea of taxing the air taxpayers breath was rejected."

"I don't think we can take 10,000 lakes as collateral."

'Sheesh... I wish the government would handle the finance reform a bit more discreetly...'

'I'm resigning -- so voters won't get the satisfaction of kicking me out of office!'

"Six fact checkers spontaneously combusting in one election cycle? Yeah, I am starting to see a pattern, Higgins."

'I believe in you, Jeffrey, and I believe in Al Gore.'