Government Guideline Enthusiasts Gifts

Glum parents read document. Woman says: 'The number of parents who can make any sense of league tables has fallen by 0.5 of a per cent.'

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

Moses holds up new federal regulation guidelines.

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

Dr Ed Henderson demonstrates that it IS possible for someone to become too familiar with the safety rules.

'We can't cut entitlements for federal employees. We're federal employees.'

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

'Daddy! There's a Politician in my closet!'

Federal Guidelines

Real Congressional reform's a must.....

'... Because it's the law! That's why!'

At last he had found the Regulatory Guidelines.

CONGRESS, 'Okay, so you've been censured -- you've got to get right back in there and start legislating before you lose your nerve!'

"So we are four days into the new Procurement Act. How are you feeling?"/"I am ok and everything seems to be fine, but I miss the anticipation."

"Thanks a bunch. I'll just run these by our committee and pass them along."

'We're looking for new, original thinkers...people who can think 'outside the box'...'

Investigate Committee On Why There Are So Many Investigative Committees.

'KEEPING UP in practice simply means knowing which drug the FDA has withdrawn.'

'Mr. Speaker! Mr. Speaker! Mr. Speaker. . . He didn't show up for work today.'

'It's interesting that your great-grandparents came over from Ireland in 1887, but you still don't qualify for foreign aid.'

The new contract will give you much more power over your future...so here are some guidelines as to how you'll be allowed to use it!'

"Politics is the art of nothing is possible."

Security Breach

Mind Narrows.

'It'll deliver more and better services at a lower cost -- it's Giant Economy Size Government!'

"My report is on the three branches of government - checks, balances, and subpoenas."

Congressional Trimming

Seven Economic Plans to Save Everybody. . . 'Any questions?'

We see the US flag flying outside a government building, with the strips going vertically - US Government tackles obesity.

"Congress just passed a bill turning the entire judicial branch of the government over to the States!"

'I'm not here for committing a crime - I'm here for failing to comply with a guideline.'

Screwed Again By New Credit Card Rules.

Falls at work.

'That does it... Now I'm definitely going to become a lawyer.'

Kevin Rudd