Government Grumblers T-Shirts

"My psychiatrist advised me to pay taxes quarterly. That way my seething resentment is spread evenly over a year."

The Cat's Alarm Clock

'What makes me mad, I was only a couple seats away from all the right answers!'

'Can I help it if she's a rotten teacher?'

Freeway exit signs: Regulation, Deregulation, Reregulation.

If you ask me, pets shouldn't be allowed in the House of Commons...

Boring and unnecessary meetings

'Sorry I can't pay your pension until I see gray hair. . . Oh yes, and you also get disability.'

"The planet is all wobbly this morning."

'Quicker to cycle anyway, mate...'

'I got a darn D-plus, and that's WITH cheating!'

"That's a great idea, Ben. I can hardly wait to take all the credit."

"My computer still won't work. It must still hold a grudge from when I punched it in frustration."

"Yes, you should have studied harder and no, you can't unsubscribe from 5th grade."

A Grumble Bee

"OK, now here comes the lava."

'The government is DETERMINED to get rid of the 'target culture'...in fact we've committed to reducing targets by 68^ across 75% of the 76 most target driven departments within 96 days!'

"This test wasn't fair! No way it's an accurate measure of what I know!"

Man - 'This coffee tastes like mud!' Woman - 'It was ground this morning.'

'Mum! Mum!... My egg's gone all runny!'

'Why does the phone always have to ring when I'm out of the bath?!'

'To be perfectly honest, I hate my job: I'm not really a morning person...'

IRS: 'Ours and Theirs.'

"I stole your phone, but I'm giving it back. You get so many robocalls, it's just not worth the headache."

'No, I'm still standing in this stupid line looking at the back of somebody's stupid head.'

"The sooner they take you off vice patrols the better."

USBULA United States Bureau of Unnecessarily Long Acronyms

'The grades aren't MY fault - I think Mrs. Pomeroy is teaching-disabled.'

The mirror knew when to keep quiet. Bob hated face-to-face confrontations first thing in the morning.

"Teaching's a joy until the first bell. Then the whole day's ruined."

'Irritable bowl syndrome'

'D-plus? -- I demand a recount!'

"Sure, I failed Math, but I passed History, English and Science. Two out of three ain't bad."

"Our perks and massively generous pensions don't sit comfortably with my conscience...sacrifices will have to be made!"

"Where's the snooze button on this thing?" "Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow!"