Government Finance Gifts

Budget surplus in Canada.

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

'Now that I have your attention...'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

The day the stock market went UP.

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"You're fired."

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

British savings accounts

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

The Anti-Agent

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....