Gourmet Trekker Pillows

"The usual"

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'What zip code are we in now?'

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'

La Table

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"I'd like to book 10 days going anywhere they've never heard of Brexit."

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

Holiday Supplies

"The soup of the day is pineapple with a hint of rum."

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

"Cancel the trip. The cook didn't get a visa."

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

'What wine goes with comfort foods?'

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

I wish I'd had the review.

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

"You've ordered comfort food. May I recommend a comfort wine?"

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

School trip little porters.

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"It's a Haiku Dinner."

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

"I didn't invent the wheel. I invented the pizza."

"Don't worry about it now, but I'll need that hook back when you're done."