Gourmet In Gloves Prints

"Fresh ground pepper?"

"You're the lid to my pot."

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

Too much cilantro

The Main Types of Cheese

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

To do before Saturday...

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

Holiday Supplies

Cheese

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

"I use broccoli rabe as a litmus test."

'Is this still America?'

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

'We have Vanilla, Chocolate and Strawberry on your choice of Cedar, Oak or Elm cone...'

'Cooking'

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

Victorian Fast Food - 'I'll have the lark pie festooned with eels, a full stilton, two bottles of port,,,'

Fly Tastings: 'Notice that hint of dog fur and then let that full bodied garbage finish unfold.'