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"I eat here all the time so I can be a regular."

'Yes, you do always take me to the best restaurants. But, I always pay the bill!'

"He's been watching all those cookery programmes."

Emily's Slow Food Restaurant.

"Can you spell that for me please sir?"

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

LAY ZEE FUK

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

The wonderful world of cheese.

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

French wine

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

The Main Types of Cheese

Too much cilantro

To do before Saturday...

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

His Her Cakes

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'