Gourmet Experience Pillows

"While you were deciding, we raised our prices."

"We should get better service, now that I've sent my dumplings back and had a word with the chef."

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

The wonderful world of cheese.

'A cheeky red?'

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

La Table

Cookbooks

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

French wine

Too much cilantro

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

"Sure, while you went out robbing folks I stayed here and made a nice quiche, and just to prove I'm not a sissy I made it with mountain lion instead of ham."

The Main Types of Cheese

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"