Gourmet Bagpipers Pillows

Bagpipe Horns.

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

La Table

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

It turns out they don't go together so well,

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

French wine

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

"Can you romance me after my tiramisu?"

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

Queen of Quinoa

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"I made you a mixtape."

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

Menu Dating

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

"Deep-dish pizza calls for deep-glass beer."

Cheese