Gourmet Bagpipers Pillows

Bagpipe Horns.

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

La Table

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

French wine

"I made you a mixtape."

"Can you romance me after my tiramisu?"

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Queen of Quinoa

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

Menu Dating

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

Tarzan of the Grapes.

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

Cheese

"Deep-dish pizza calls for deep-glass beer."