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The First Supper

"Remember when we used to wonder if there other beings somewhere out there?"

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Clown God

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

Extremely Practical Jokes.

'And you're sure you handed the baby to me?'

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

Road rage on a mobility scooter.

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

2pm meet your Creator

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

"Hello. I'm here to install the new pastor."

"Oh, don't mind us. We boo everybody."

"You ghosts are pretty cool. I wish I could be more like you..."

'Oh yeah? Well I'm not crazy about your humming, either!'

'We have lost the video and voice audio, but will continue with the laugh track.'

Shortly after being accepted into John's heart, Jesus lodged in aorta.

I am one with stupid.

"Can you write 'To Mandy - you're the best'?"

'A funny thing happened to me on the way to the church tonight..'

'It's my first attempt at gardening but so far I've learned...'

"I'll have the crescent-crab 'purses' and the smoked duck 'hash' – hold the quotation marks."

"How much of this stuff can I eat before it can no longer be returned?"

"Where do you see yourself in five years."

'Whoops!'

'If we had any guts we'd get out of here!'

"Due to a breakdown in communication, 'Nilla Wafers' will be used for the communion service."

'They're evolving like mad -- You put in way too many cosmic rays!'