Goofball T-Shirts

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

'Irwin! Get your elbow up!...Good! Now twirl the bat, lift your foot up, put one hand on top of your helmet, stick out your tongue and hop like a rabbit.'

I'm with stupid.

"Honestly sometimes I'd like to pretend I don't know you!"

Turtle bumps turtle: 'WHIPLASH!'

'Now say cheese,no,not YOU!'

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

Shoot For The Moon

The Deaths take a selfie.

'I'm sorry, Mr. President, he can't come to the phone right now...he's doing that crazy hand jive.'

'Waiter, there's a bank in the soup.'

"Quit chasing carbs, try a protein bar."

"Tonight, we'll be eating hot dogs with a mustard-ketchup-and-pickle purée, accompanied by peas lightly sprinkled with ketchup. Then fettuccine al dente with a ketchup sauce, followed by applesauce maison with a dollop of you know what!"

Two robots are playing table football.

'It's great that you made your own salad, dear, but those aren't croutons, they're dog kibbles.'

"Yes, you'll probably need to go to an elite university if you want to be able to play foosball at work."

Frank Loved Bubblewrap

"This place has the best vegan nachos!"

'The special today is scraps.'

'Better get used to player rotation!'

'Remember when we used to call them Wallflowers? The new term is Mingleberries.'

Man is preparing pizza by the slice.

'Can you recommend something pronounceable?'

(Can't) Count Dracula.

Two chefs playing foosball using rotisserie chickens.

'More Christmas anyone?'

A mason making a peanut butter sandwich.

"Ewww....Banana slug hammocks really cross me out."

'He's an experienced golfer! Experienced in sand traps, water hazards and slicing.'

"There's always a prima donna."

'I hope you replace your divots!'

"Hey! Laywer! These things keep flipping on their own!"

"Is the Black Cherry Vanilla Beer Coolie any good? That depends on your lack of taste."