Goodwill Guru Mugs

'Your sponsored child and his family used your monthly support to dig a new village well. Instead of water they struck oil - and are now wealthy beyond your wildest dreams.'

"I volunteer for the Samaritans. I tried to phone in sick this morning but they talked me out of it."

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

Van Gogh was starting to run out of gift ideas.

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

"I'm in nonprofit work for the money."

You gotta hand it to the old man, he still knows how to motivate!

Santa called but you were out!

'Hi, this is Batman. You've reached the Batcave. I'm not in right now but as soon as I return I'll call you bat.'

Veggie Hall of Fame.

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

'Since we all have to believe in something, I thought, 'Why not money?''

It's a busy mother's day down there! The glucose molecule got his mom a box of sweets, the histamine brought flowers ... A sodium atom got bath salts, and the genes had a family portrait taken. Frank, the neuron didn't get a gift for his mother. No, he didn't but he always sends a nice message!

"Tia Carmen, if times are tough, how come you're giving money away?"

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

Happy hour.

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

Regifts of the Magi

Valentines Day truck

'This exotic dessert I make is guilt-free. I already burned all the calories running around finding the ingredients!'

"I'll match donations when you match my tax payments."

C'mon, help me out! Which rock do you think my kids would like better?

"This is great. I've been playing miniature golf so often I almost forgot what regular-sized golf is like."

"I make money, therefore I am."

''Not guilty'? -- oh, in denial, are we?'

'Tell the truth: does this affidavit make me look fat?'

'Sorry - I only donate big.'

Mother using candy cane to pull son away from toy window.

'Just be patient. Greed always makes a come back.'

The Ekert Saga: 'Let's put it this way...can you imagine how the world would be if everyone actually practiced hat they preach about following the 'golden rule'?

"All yours, Buddy. I'm ALREADY living on house money."

Cartoon computer

"Finally, a co-worker who CAN handle Big data!"