Golf Club Jugglers T-Shirts

Kangaroo golf-caddy.

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

"Some advice please...How do I squeeze 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"

Complete the jigsaw puzzle of your life

"Ever since the layoffs, I feel like we've been doing the work of twenty clowns."

"Oh just ignore him!...he always shows off when we have visitors!"

Medieval headlines.

"I want to apologise for calling this meeting on such short notice."

"Life After a Circus Bankruptcy."

"Honey! We're home!"

Family Home.

'Hi, honey?we're home!'

"Well it looks like we're all here."

Baskerville Tabby.

"So totally gross, yet, so totally cool Dad!"

'Whatever happens, we mustn't let life get on top of us!'

"I feel a lot of societal pressure to be happy."

'But, sweetheart, it's only for three hours. Just say you're bringing him in for loitering.'

"You ought to do what I do—have a few belts before you meet with the old man."

Heyyy, don't worry about a thing. One more energy drink and I'll have you sliced and sutured in no time!

Number of times your kids will wake in the night/Amount you have to do tomorrow

Parole officer: Hanging in and hanging out.

I think you put it off long enough.

"I wasn't texting or eating and there's no law saying I can't juggle."

'I'm sometimes right and I'm sometimes wrong. A positive attitude on your part is to agree with me in both cases.'

"I want my work to be challenging, but not so challenging that it destroys my life, family and relationships."

"I try to keep my coffee buzz going till the Martini buzz kicks in."

'You have to actually exercise. Jumping to conclusions, stretching the truth, skipping breakfast and juggling two jobs won't do it.'

"Damn it, when things were going well there was nothing but eye contact."

'Remember I said I wish I had more arms so I could get more things done? Well the doctor took care of that problem.'