Golf Anecdotes Prints

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

Donald Trump Playing Golf With Hair On Fire

'I don't think there's any hope for my golf game.'

'Silly me. I thought his 'Catch and Release' bumper sticker referred to his philosophy on trout fishing.'

"You're way too strong Dad: You've overshot the green by about two hundred metres..."

"Okay...just this once...but no more practice swings!"

The golfer apologized for all his affairs. The governor regrets all his affairs. So does the former presidential candidate. I don't get the abstinence until marriage idea. Shouldn't it be abstinence AFTER marriage?

Hole in forty-seven.

'Have you got a sand wedge?'

'I know Joe's sight isn't all that but the captain's not going to like it.'

Poor Walt - they don't make em like him anymore.

Mulligan's first mulligan.

TOLD YOU TO TAKE LESSONS FROM GOLF PRO

"Hoo-whee! Nice shot, Tom. You just missed the trap."

"So he pulls out a 1 iorn, see? I say to him. Bob I says, not even God can hit a 1 iron. Then, there was a flash of light and boom!"

"Swallow another one, Pearson and you're fired."

'Have I told you that sometimes I become furious, that I've got a previous conviction for bodily harm and that I hate to lose?'

'This is the hole I was telling you about!'

'Why did the golfer wear two pairs of trousers?'

'Lunge out of the water and slap his face!? ... Oh, that's real effective, Leonard.'

The game requires no great physical strength...

'Bunker? It should be called a trench because that's where the real war starts!'

"Forget that ball caddie, there's another just like it up here that I can tap in...."

'Arnold became suspicious when Bessie kept hitting balls into the tall grass.'

'Sorry about that. Put my golf gloves on by mistake'

"I missed a hole in one by just 5 strokes!"

Bah Humbug!

Man pelted with golf balls.

"It's hard to say if your game is improving, but that's definitely the first divot-in-one I've ever seen."

"No, not yet."

'I said we were going to play a game of skins, not shirts and skins!'

I hate this bunker!

"I'll comeback to rescue you after I find my ball."

'Wow! That's some sexy looking club you've got there!'

Oil squirting out of a golf hole, as arabs ty to play.